What’s the best way to keep my male sex machine hidden from my SO?

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Male Sex MachineEven for some of the most progressive ladies, male sex machines are viewed in a negative light. The nifty devices are, well, let’s be honest: the devices attempt to replicate and mimic the sensation provided by real sex. And when a relationship is going through a rough patch, sex may be the only thing that can be withheld from the man.

And so you understand the hesitance of many female partners in allowing their man to enjoy a sex toy. Sure, steps can be taken to try and persuade your girl, but at the end of the day, this will take way too much time, and isn’t guaranteed to be successful.

Most male sex machine users decide to simply keep their product(s) hidden from their significant other.

To the seasoned device hider, this is nothing more than a formality - an ultra-easy and thoughtless process that can be completed with ease. But to the poor saps who have yet to hide a device, the prospect is incredibly intimidating (I know fellas, I was there once too).

But luckily for those of you having trouble taking the first step towards hiding a sex product, I’m here to help. I’ve hid compact pleasure-makers and full-blown pleasure machines alike, so I know the ropes. Let me share some helpful hints and tips for a successful hiding.

Think Outside the Box

Male Sex MachinesFellas, fellas, fellas; I cannot stress how important this point is, no matter where you’re hiding your machine. You need to think outside of the box.

Thinking of hiding your toy in your clothes drawer?

Don’t do it; this terrible hiding spot is exactly where your wife or girlfriend will think to look (men are a little bit more open minded about sex toys in general, so they shouldn’t be a problem) when she’s suspicious or just curious.

Thinking of hiding your toy under your mattress?

Think again - I’m telling you right now she takes an occasional look there too.

To really establish a clear-cut and reliable hiding spot, you’ll need to think outside the box: where would your partner never think to look?

Having trouble thinking of some spots? Allow me to help.

1. Underneath a rarely used desk or table, duct taped to its wood.

2. Taped to the back of a dresser which is pressed closely against the wall.

3. For larger devices, wrapped inside of old blankets or sheets; go to the local goodwill store, purchase some older blankets for a few dollars, and bring them home, telling your significant other that someone close - a grandmother or aunt, most likely - gave these to you, and although they are old and rather gross, you can’t bring yourself to discard them. Wrap your sex machine in these blankets and place them out of sight and out of mind, under the bed or in the top of a closet.

These three steps are sure to help you keep your partner unaware of your male sex machine. But still, there are a couple of other points that need to be considered to maintain anonymity.

Other Points to Consider

There are a number of additional, commonly overlooked, points where customers fail to keep their male sex machines hidden from their partner. Consider and adapt to these points:

  1. Make the purchase using a disposable credit card or rarely used credit card if possible, to avoid the statement being recognized by your partner (however unlikely, this is possible, and can lead to additional interest and questions, at the very least).
  2. If your significant other gets the mail or opens packages that aren’t strictly addressed to her, get the device sent elsewhere: a friend’s house, a PO box, etc. Otherwise, make sure that you’re at home on its expected delivery date for immediate interception.
  3. For the love of everything sexy, delete the internet history after purchasing the device, and be sure to delete the order confirmation emails as well!
  4. Even if you get the device sent to a friend’s house, don’t tell him what it is (lying and saying that it is a special present for your wife or girlfriend is a good idea). Friend-to-girlfriend or wife-to-your - girlfriend-or-wife is a common gossip trail that has led to the downfall of many seemingly prepared men.

And that’s just about it! Through the implementation of some simple but important steps, you can enjoy your male sex machine without your significant other knowing. Good luck!