Fleshlight Ice and Sleeve Warmer Reviewed

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Fleshlight IceI was under the impression that it was meant to be used cold, hence the name.

I couldn’t imagine anyone, absent necrophiliacs, who would want to hump a cold cavity. Though, I mean, if you’re into Dom/Sub-Zero roleplay, who am I to judge?

To my relief, the only way it resembles ice is in its translucence.

I was glad that he tried a silicone masturbator sleeve before trying a Fleshlight, because this supple material would’ve totally ruined him for anything else. It’s really that good. It’s the best inanimate object to ever hug the curves of his cock.

The body - safe (yet porous – no sharing if you’re not fluid-bonded!), crystalline SuperSkin sleeve material reminds me of a less sticky version of those slap hands kids get from the - I had to look up the name of this contraption - “toy capsule vending machine.”

My bf thinks realistic sex machines for men are creepy, so when I chose his first Fleshlight, I opted for the ‘pure’ orifice, which is essentially just a smooth, circular hole instead of anything attempting to resemble human anatomy. The inside texture of this sucker is called, “Mini-Lotus,” just one of many bloopy, ribbed, and segmented canals available. A couple of them look eerily like oversized intestinal villi.

I ordered the Ice version because I wanted to use the sleeve ON my partner; it helps to be able to see what’s going on instead of just blindly smashing a gelatinous tube onto a (potentially flaccid) penis. Plus, I’m a bit of a voyeur. As it turns out, it’s pretty damn hot to watch.

The screw-on lid on the bottom of the device acts as a suction gauge: righty-tighty, and you will feel like Private Pyle is sucking you like a golfball through a garden hose; lefty-loosey, and the resistance in your thrusts diminishes for a smoother glide. The looser the cap, the fewer armpit-queef farty sounds issue from the displacement of air.

The biggest surprise was in the sheer size of the thing; it’s massive! Ten inches long, and weighing over a pound. Big enough to fist? I slathered my hand in Flesh Lube, assumed my best Lesbian Fist, and made that Fleshlight moan in ecstasy as I plunged wrist-deep into its, um, ‘pure’ hole. Okay, maybe I imagined the moans, but I did not imagine my entire hand plumbing its depths. Crossed that one off my bucket fuck-it list!

In addition to sexy fun-times, Fleshlights can also function as legitimate therapeutic devices. I once dated a guy who could not get off during PIV due to the dreaded “death-grip” masturbation technique. He often debated buying a Fleshlight to practice getting used to a gentler variety of stimulation more akin to intercourse. If that’s something you’re struggling with, these can be used to overcome that wanker’s stranglehold.

The sleeve warmer was kind of anticlimactic. I was expecting the sleeve to heat up to a cozy degree, but it really just brings it to body temperature. Pinky told me the change in temperature wasn’t remarkable. If you don’t want to spring for the sleeve warmer, and would like more control over the temperature, you can soak the Fleshlight sleeve in hot water for five minutes prior to use.

I swear, there are forums organized of rival gangs that scrutinize each other’s clean-up approach and shank each other for mishandling a Fleshlight. To avoid that fate, follow these drama-free, simple instructions from Fleshlight for keeping your new toy in excellent condition.

All in all, these pillowy, slippery squish-tubes make penises happy and clitorises jealous (like the penis equivalent of a great clitoral vibrator), leveling out the sex toy playing field a little more. We both give this glacially-inspired dong playcave an emphatic “fuck yeah”!


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